Surprises in Life

Shocking surprises !

"Barney isn't real !"

"There is no Santa Claus ! "

"Luke I am your father."

"Pamela Anderson went for breast reduction surgery"

"Michael Jackson is married !"

"... and he has kids ! "

"The millions of dollars waiting for me in Nigeria is a scam ?"

My first children's story

This is my first attempt at writing a children's story. This is the text, I'll put the images up another day, once I figured out how to scan them in..

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Michael and Endod

Michael is a boy who lives with his Daddy and Mommy. One day, while his Daddy was out working, and his Mommy was busy preparing dinner, he started to get bored.

‘Mommy, can you play with me?’ pleaded Michael.
‘Not now dear, Mommy’s busy’, his mother replied. ‘Why don’t you play with some of your toy friends?’

‘But they cannot play with me …’ whispered Michael sadly.

Suddenly, he thought of an idea.
He started going around the house gathering various odds and ends. Soon, he had a big pile gathered in the center of the living room floor. He decided to built a robot to be his friend.

He took an old pan and attached a pair of binoculars to the side of the pan so that his robot can see far. Below that an old tape recorder was fixed to act as its mouth.

A metal box was used as the robot’s body and soft drink cans became the legs. Michael then attached 2 metal tins as the legs. The arms and hands were a pair of springs with magnets attached at the ends.

He wanted the robot to be smart, so he put in a CD-ROM encyclopedia inside its head. The robot should be full of love, so he opened its chest and put in his soft pillow made by his Mommy. In went a coloring book for fun and creativity. Finally, Michael threw in a hamster wheel to power the robot.

Michael called the robot Endod, for it was made with the ends and odds. And it came alive.

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Ways to make money

I'm been thinking of ways to earn more money. So if you guys have any suggestions, please go ahead.

However, they must be legal ( or at least not illegal ), and does not involve me selling my virtue or body, as I have no virtue nor any body that anyone would pay for.

Here are some of the ones I thought of :

a) Sell my Blood : wonder how much does the blood bank pay ? cookies and milo credits ?

b) write children books and make parents pay the sky for them, bwah ha ha. ( Seriously, I have this up in a couple of days time )

c) create a new children's show, and fleece the parents on merchandising. I could go 2 ways about this,

• Create a singing and dancing show, but I'll need someone to write really cheesy songs
• Or a japanese 'rangers' show, but I'll need cheesy special effects for these

I need volunteers to dress up in costumes for the above. Any one interested ? I'll pay peanuts !

d) steal some nuclear bomb and blackmail the world for 1 million dollars ! Bwah ha ha ha !!! On second thoughts, I'll only get attacked by Bush.

e) get everyone to donate to the make Sam rich fund. If I had 1 cent from everyone in singapore, I'll be 4 million dollars richer. Add to that all the foreign talent, I'll have another 2 milllion. Come on everyone, call that number, send that check !!

f) Create a new idol/superstar show. Or I need are some showbiz has-beens, some cute and/or pretty boys and girls, and a 1900 number. Here comes Mime Superstar !! no ? What abt So you think you can bagpipe ! or maybe Ah Beng/Lian Idol !!!

Remember, don't steal my ideas ah ! If you do, please send me some money ok ?

Later !